We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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