i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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