What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
