all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
