haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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