How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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