I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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