love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
