Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
