i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
