Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This is my gift to your gina
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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