guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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