you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
