I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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