OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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