i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize