cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
