you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
