well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
