it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
