Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
