Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize