Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
