yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
