youre lurking in front of me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
