I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
