my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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