Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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