how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
