I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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