Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
bring money and cleavage
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
