So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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