Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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