i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
