Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize