I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
