no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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