Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
