I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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