I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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