oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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