i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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