You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
