Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
