yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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