I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
