you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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