No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
And then he peed in my hair
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