So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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