I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
