some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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