I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
