i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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