I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
