she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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