Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
