would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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