Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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